Mom Drop Box: What new moms really need

What new moms really need

I leave in a few days for a weekend trip to visit one of my best friends who's just had a baby. ?She now has 2 under 2, and I can't wait to meet her new little boy. I can't wait to see his big brother. ?I'm excited to see my friend and her husband and catch up. ?


I'm leaving my family behind for this trip. ?Why? ?Because my goal for this trip is to be a support for their family. ?Especially my girlfriend; I want to help her however I can.


I know they would love to see my family, but 4 kids + 4 adults + a Florida bungalow = loudness & busyness & just too much. ?Too much for a new baby & a family still getting to know each other.


It wasn't long ago that I was bringing home my babies. ?I had great baby showers & received lots of gifts to get ready for the baby. ?


But when the baby finally came, what mattered wasn't the onesies or the matching nursery sets or the all-natural bath wash. ?It was the support.? Sometimes I had an overabundance of it, and sometimes I didn't have enough.


Many - myself included- tend to associate a new baby with a mother or mother-in-law swooping in to aid the husband and basically take care of the new baby & the new mama. ?Yet, many times, that ideal just doesn't happen. ? Too many women have broken or fractured relationships with those ladies in their lives to make that work, or the moms just aren't able to get there. ?Or we assume that the new parents must have lots of friends and family around, so what do they need us for?


It's a dangerous assumption. ?My husband and I, for example, each have one sibling, and they both live across the country from us. ?Neither came in for either of our children's births. ?We did have some friends that gave support, but not everybody does.


With new moms dealing with healing from childbirth, coping with out-of-whack hormones, and figuring out how to care for their new baby all at once, it's no wonder that so many women slip into postpartum?depression.


I never experienced that, but I did have the baby blues after having both of my children for a few days, and it made me feel totally off-kilter emotionally. ?I couldn't control my tears and got really upset with my husband over the littlest things.?


When I had my daughter, there came a pivotal moment. ?I felt like I was slipping. ?I was having real trouble breast-feeding, and I felt like I couldn't handle the combination of a new baby & my toddler.?


Like an angel, my aunt showed up with dinner. ?She saw that things weren't going well, and took it upon herself to call a lactation consultant. ?I believe that phone call gave me the support I needed to continue on with breastfeeding, and without it I might have given up. ??


This friend that I am going to see showed up too. ?She drove across the state & stayed for a few days, and reminded me - again & again- that her job was to help. ?With the baby, with my toddler, with dishes, with cooking- wherever I needed it.


Now I am so happy that I can do the same for her. ?With the exception of a few baby gifts, I have no idea who gave me what for my baby showers. ?But I can tell you exactly who gave me help & support me when I needed it. ?And I don't think I'll ever forget, or ever stop being grateful.

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